Thursday, June 28, 2012

Is Disney's "Brave" heroine a lesbian?? ... WHO CARES?!

And The Literary Dark Prince stares… and blinks… and stares… and blinks… and as the words on this post refuse to alter their conveyed message he begins to see the error lies not with them, but the fact that—despite every iota of logical reasoning screaming and crying at lung-bursting degrees—there are ACTUALLY people out there that would CARE!! So-goddam-what if a Disney character is gay?! Snow White lived with SEVEN men who constantly bribed her with diamonds, Belle fell in love with a 10-foot GORILLA-DOG, Ariel pranced about with exposed genitals on a public beach several days prior to being married to Eric by a priest with an obvious erection, Jasmine all-but WHORED herself to Jafar to distract him from Aladdin, Jane fell for Tarzan when he was barely a coherent human being, and Mulan was a cross-dresser.

Society, get ready for a bomb-shell of a shocker: SEX EXISTS!! All elements associated with sex (nudity, arousal, exploration, experimentation, curiosity and—HOLY SHIT?!—homosexuality are a PART of the human condition that drives us to discover both other human beings AND ourselves)!
Ready for another world-melting revelation? KIDS ARE NOT STUPID!! They see Mommy and Daddy pucker up with pursed lips and—here comes “2 + 2”—if men and women can kiss one another, then who’s to say it stops there? The deductive reasoning of the minds society tries so desperately to cloud from every truth they deem unsuitable are more-than capable of rationalizing the facts for themselves. Hiding sexuality from children is not going to make them not realize that, if they cast their gaze downward, THERE’S SOMETHING BETWEEN THEIR THIGHS, and THAT alone is motivation enough for children to explore avenues of WHAT it is and WHO else has them.
If a Disney princess is gay, then I’m certain a perceptive child that gives enough of a damn to psycho-analyze the broad while she’s slinging arrows and being badass will be happy as a pig-in-shit to do so, but, seeing how the notion of BIGOTRY and HOMOPHOBIA—the only REAL lesson that all this song and dance teaches kids—have yet to enter into their minds, I severely DOUBT that they’re going to care one way or the other.
To the kids out there: stay young forever!
To the adults out there: grow-the-fuck-up!!

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